The Origins of Our Titles

As children, we seek connection, love, and approval. Before we even have the language to express it, we feel the need to be seen and acknowledged. In those formative years, we experiment with behaviors that gain us recognition. Whether it’s making people laugh, excelling at a skill, or being the responsible one, we internalize the feedback we receive and craft a self-identity based on it.

For example, a child praised for their creativity may grow into an adult who sees themselves as “the artistic one.” Another child labeled as “the difficult one” may carry that identity into adulthood, even when it no longer serves them. These early imprints become the foundation of how we define ourselves, consciously or unconsciously.

How Titles Shape Our Adult Lives

As we grow, these childhood titles influence our self-perception, decision-making, and interactions with others. We often strive to maintain the identities we formed in youth, even if they limit us. If someone was always seen as “the problem solver,” they may feel an obligation to take on responsibility for others, even at their own expense. Similarly, a person who was labeled “the shy one” might struggle with confidence, believing that social ease is beyond their reach.

These ingrained identities shape our careers, relationships, and sense of self-worth. They can provide comfort and stability but also create limitations. By clinging to old titles, we may resist change or ignore aspects of ourselves that don’t fit within the label we’ve adopted.

Redefining Your Title

At some point, it becomes essential to ask: Does my title still serve me? Do I need to be the strong one, the reliable one, or the funny one? Or is it time to evolve?

Self-reflection is key to breaking free from outdated labels. Consider the moments when you first embraced a title—what were you seeking at that time? Love, security, recognition? Then, assess whether that identity aligns with who you are today.

One way to shift this narrative is by experimenting with new roles. If you’ve always been “the responsible one,” allow yourself moments of spontaneity. If you’ve been “the quiet one,” challenge yourself to speak up. Small shifts in behavior can create space for a broader sense of self beyond the labels you’ve carried for years.