We talk but do we truly listen to ourselves when we speak? Do we fully understand what the more personal and hidden message of the stories we tell are? Can we ask our own mind to deliver it to us and simply wait to hear the answer?

Often, our conversations with people narrate the events of our lives and day-to-day experiences. Yet, beneath these simple recountings lies a deeper emotional current—an essence we yearn to tap into and share, even with ourselves. For, why would we be drawn to the story and find meaning in it, if not that it represents more to us? 

What if, after recounting each story, we are delivered a deeper understanding of our own inner desire? Just as we seek connection with others, there is an innate longing to understand ourselves. Similar to how we attentively listen when a dear friend shares a meaningful event, we also reach out, expressing our emotions, seeking to be heard and comprehended. The most profound connection occurs when we comprehend our own emotions and intentions. From there, being understood by another becomes an added bonus.

In coaching, we use the method of retracing narratives to their origin to unearth the core emotions behind our experiences. Each life event carries within it a fundamental emotion that, once acknowledged, can lead to inner peace and equilibrium. Like every film we watch, there is always a moral to the story. But how do we uncover and fully grasp that original meaning and feeling? How do we prompt ourselves to reveal it?

Give Your Mind a Job

By setting clear intentions beforehand, our minds can effortlessly focus. Engage your mind with your own probing question: What is the essence of this experience I am about to retell? What am I trying to convey by it? In one line, what am I really saying here? Asking the right questions unlocks the potential of the mind, facilitating understanding of our deeper self.

Our mind can be a master of distraction, yet it also holds the key to revealing our core being. It’s akin to placing an order at a drive-through window—state your request clearly, allow it time to process, and then verify the outcome. Asking your mind to deliver insights at the end of a narrative is an exercise in framing and thinking. With practice, this skill becomes a lifelong asset. As mindfulness deepens, we can swiftly identify the emerging feelings within a story, hastening the arrival of that “Ah-ha!” moment.

In Summary

Your mind possesses clarity in the confusion. When asked, it can provide the insights you seek. It can perceive itself when illuminated correctly. The key lies in asking and then listening. So, next time you speak to someone and tell them about an experience, quickly say to yourself; Mind. Listen to what I am about to say and later, tell me what I was reaching for to share. In other words; Mind! Go fetch!